People (especially children) often ask us, "How is unicorn poop made?"
This is a very good question, since we are very transparent about nearly all of our business practices and have, to this point, been somewhat hesitant to share our methods. Not only is competition in the unicorn poop market fierce, we also didn't want to open ourselves to a media relations nightmare if our quarters weren't to PETA standards.
Of course, we at Outlaw Soaps are committed to keeping our products cruelty-free, and that especially applies to mythical creatures (and our dogs - but does not extend to spiders or house centipedes or 
mosquitoes). We knew from the beginning that if we were going to harvest unicorn poop (to sell as soap), we had to ensure our unicorns were free-range and well-treated.
So we have taken every measure to ensure that our unicorns are given freedom and a safe, comfortable place to live.
But where do we get our unicorns? I'm so glad you asked!
One of our unicorns shared this story:
another universe. The shower curtain spread across my lean, smooth back like a cape as I stepped out onto the tiny and insignificant bathmat. I shook my mane of silver horse-tresses and peered at myself in the mirror. Holy f*ck. I am a unicorn. The shock sent waves of panic coursing through my belly and a single glittering turd fell from my regal and majestic ass.
You may have seen photos of us "making" the unicorn poop:
Well, I'll admit to a little trickery here.
As you can see from this Google search, unicorns poop solid rainbows.
We actually take the solid rainbows and bring them to our shop so we can create the illusion that it is actually handmade soap. Trust me, that has been a very elaborate ruse to maintain.
So next time you're scrubbing your glittery, sherbet-scented self up with some unicorn poop, just think of the free-range unicorns who have made their home in our home.
