It's time to come up with some fresh bumper sticker slogans, and this year, we've got a hell of a prize: $100!

Summary: At the bottom of this page, in the comments, submit your idea for a bumper sticker slogan before October 21. Keep it brief and pithy. We decide on our favorites, and a lot of people vote. If enough people vote for yours, you get a $100 credit at

For more info, read on...

Perhaps you've seen our fancy bumper stickers:

and , for example.

(there are others, but we're out of them so they're not on the site right now)

Believe it or not, we didn't write all our stickers! Many of them were the result of brilliant customers just like you submitting a brilliant idea and winning a competition.

Here's how it works:

  • In the comments of this page, submit your idea(s) for what would make a great bumper sticker. Just let 'er rip with whatever good-sounding assembling of words comes into your head. This is important: Leave your email address in one of the submissions. If you don't, I will notify you via Facebook if yours was selected via your "other" folder (assuming we're not friends).
    Remember, this is going on a bumper sticker, so it has to be incredibly brief! The deadline is October 21st at midnight.

  • On October 24th, we'll publish our 7 favorite options, and y'all (along with your friends) will get to vote on the sticker you like best. Voting will go on until October 28th.

  • The winner will be published on October 31st and will be announced in our November 1st Outlaw Sentinel newsletter.

FAQ: (at least, theoretically asked frequently)

Q: How brief is brief?

A: I dunno, dude. Just look at one of the example stickers and see what kind of text you think would fit.


Q: Why are you having submissions all out there in the open in the comments and not as a form?

A: In the event that two people have the same idea for a sticker, I want EVERYONE to see who submitted first, so there is no question. With a name like "Outlaw Soaps," we expect a little suspicion now and again, but we're square shooters and run a fair match.


Q: How do you determine what your "favorite" bumper sticker is? I thought mine was pretty great, but you didn't pick it.

A: Lots of factors go into what makes something right for a bumper sticker, and even more factors go into what makes something right for an Outlaw Soaps bumper sticker. We have to weigh a lot of these factors against each other, including random stuff like copyrights and this new concept we're working on called "appropriateness" (the jury's still out on that one...).

But the judges' decisions are final, so I don't want to hear any sour grapes.


Q: How do you use these bumper stickers?

A: We ship these bumper stickers with every order and to our wholesale accounts. They're a big part of our business and we love 'em very much.


Q: What happens if there's a tie?

A: We've had a tie before, and it's a lucky day when two bumper stickers are so brilliant that they tie for votes. In the event of a tie, the bounty will be split evenly among the winners.


Look, compadre... we're not a big fancy company with huge ol' lawyers. We're just a handful of greenhorns punchin' soaps for a little scratch now and again.

You do not have to purchase anything to win. This competition is not random, but judged by the entire company of Outlaw Soaps. The decision of the judges is final and yeah, we mean it. Deadlines, along with everything else about this little enterprise, are fluid and open to accidental oversight, cornfusion, and general unkemptness. The website, submission methods, voting methods, etc are not real materials and are therefore subject to failure (hey, even real voting is subject to failure, so how are we going to be infallible over here?). In the event that some technical failure results in something getting messed up, we're all just gonna throw our hands up in the air and sigh about those darn internets. And then we'll try to fix the problem, but no-one's gonna get any britches in a bunch, including you. The prize for winning the competition is a $100 credit to There are no other prizes. If we like one of the not-winners enough to use it, we may or may not compensate you for your submission. We'll make our best attempt to contact you if/when you win, but if you don't reply, we can't give you your bounty. However, we'll hold on to your bounty until you do contact us, or until December 31, 2017, whichever comes sooner. If you don't contact us by December 31, 2017, we're going to assume you're making a generous donation to the Outlaw Soaps Home for Disadvantaged Entrepreneurs (i.e. us). You can use your $100 credit for anything except subscription boxes or subscription soaps. Sorry, that's just how the subscriptions work. This competition is open to anyone around the world as long as the competition is legal in your area, but we're not responsible for shipping you your product if you win and we don't ship to your country. Yes, we can transfer it to someone else in the US who can send it to you, we just can't be in charge of that. The value of the prize is $100. We own all submissions to the contest and may use them however we see fit, for as long as we want to. These rules are legal and binding, unless a lawyer tells us they aren't, in which case we were just putting words on a website for fun. Isn't this fun? I've had a swell time.

* If you win the competition.

Leave a comment

Shari Patterson

I fought the law, and cleaned up!

Jiggy MaMa

We don’t need no stinkin’…

Ruben Chicas

“I smell so good it’s illegal”
“These suds are not standard issue”

Ruben Chicas

Whoopsies! I just realized I stole your slogan “I drink in the shower”… such an Outlaw move, ammiright? Sorry!

Here’s one to replace it:
“Currently riding off into the sunset”

Ruben Chicas

“I’ve got suds in my giddyup”
“Ain’t no sense in stinkin’.”
“How the West was washed”
“Bourbon. Bullets. Bubbles.”
“I drink in the shower”
“My soap is an Outlaw”
“Filthy animal”
“Outlaw soul, Outlaw scent”
“Cleans up nice”
“I ride into the sunset with [Outlaw Soaps]”
“Clean enough for a roll in the hay”
“I eat bullets for breakfast”
“You only get 6 shots to make a first impression”
“Clean Cowboy/Cowgirl”
“Clean your pistol with [Outlaw Soaps]”
“Do you feel CLEAN, punk? Do ya?!”
“I stop for steer”
“I smell like Sunday morning”
“What? You’ve never seen an Outlaw before?”
“I bathe with BACON”
“Get soapy and wet with me”
“My soap makes me dirtier”
“Wash the dirt off your body, not your soul”
“Clean hands, dirty/filthy mind” or “Clean hands, filthy soul”
“My body’s clean, but my mind is filthy”
“WANTED! (For smellin’ like an Outlaw)”
“On the lam for being an Outlaw”
“On the lam for smelling like an Outlaw”
“On the lam for breakin’ hearts”
“On the lam for stealing thunder”
“Caution: Outlaw Inside”
“Lawless. Lewd. Lathered.”
“I’ll steal your money / and your heart”
“I rob wagon trains”
“You’ll never take me unwashed!”
“Get your hands off my bacon”
“I lather lawlessly”
“Outlaws shower naked”
“Fastest suds in the West”
“I smell reckless”
“Pull the trigger”
“I washed the Sheriff”
“…but I did not soap the Deputy”
“I make being bad smell good”
“Now entering Outlaw Country” and if it fits: “Population: ME.”
“They call me the Soapdown Kid”
“I use suds to steal hearts”
“I don’t sit in traffic / I stop to smell myself”
“I don’t sit in traffic / I stop to plan my next heist” OR “I’m not sitting in traffic / I’m planning my next heist”
“I don’t sit in traffic / I stare into the horizon”
“Get on my high horse”
“Shower with me” / “Shower with an Outlaw”
“Bathe with me” / “Bathe with an Outlaw”