Outlaw shipping for the holidays

The fact that you're asking means that you've either ordered or are thinking about ordering, and for that I applaud your wise choice!

We understand that when you place an order on Outlaw, you want to hop into your shower (with your Outlaws) as quickly as possible. We can't blame you. We're the exact same, you and me. I feel ya on this.

In general, orders ship within 24 business hours, either from our Sparks, Nevada safehouse or one of our known accomplices in Illinois or California. Why have other locations? In these uncertain times, the law of resilience says whoever has the most strategic locations, coupled with the most redundancy, wins.

Because of this strategy, most orders arrive within 3 business days of being placed.

We will, of course, keep you appraised of the whereabouts of your loot. You'll be free to hit refresh on the shipping update page until your mouse begs for mercy.

Again, we know how it is.

We've heard tell of other places who take a week or two to ship an order, and then it's anyone's guess when the post will actually be delivered... if it is delivered at all, or if it's delivered and stolen.

THIS IS NOT HOW THE OUTLAWS DO THINGS.

When you order from Outlaw, we guarantee your product all the way until kingdom come.

If your order has been delayed from our expected ship time of 3 days, you'll get a notification. If it takes an unauthorized Jack Kerouac-inspired meander across the country hopped up on benzine, we'll call its mother and get it a bus ticket home... and we'll ship out a replacement right away. Also, we'll let you know what happened, and hopefully send clips from their memoir (if it's any good).

Porch pirates? We cover it.

Benzine binge? We cover it.

A product that doesn't meet your hopes? We cover it.

A shipment that appears to have been masticated by goats in transit? Yes, we even cover goat damage. (please send goat photos!)

Side note: We may be the only company offering comprehensive goat-damage coverage for the holiday shipping season. And I'm proud. Very proud.

The only reason we're able to do this is because OUTLAWS ARE EXCEPTIONALLY AMAZING HUMAN BEINGS. Overwhelmingly, our generous satisfaction policy has been both popular and respected. Y'all know how hard it is to be a little business in a big world. If it's a dog-eat-dog world, this little underdog is wearing bacon trousers.

So we appreciate your upstandingness as Outlaws.

If you have further questions, we're here for you.

 

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